Written by Michiyo Taenaka, CPA | Estate & Trust Tax Strategy Specialist
“Estate planning for young adults” is not a phrase most parents expect to think about. You’re still paying the phone bill and reminding them about oil changes. But the day your child turns 18, the law stops seeing them as your child and starts seeing them as an adult, and a lot of the access you have always had quietly disappears.
I’ve watched families learn this at the worst possible moment. A call from a hospital two states away, a parent on the phone with a nurse who cannot legally tell them anything. It is a hard way to find out.
The good news is that the fix is small. Two documents, one afternoon, and it is done.
What actually changes at 18
Up until that birthday, you had the legal right to make medical decisions for your child, see their records, and handle their money. That right does not transition gradually. It ends.
Once your child is a legal adult:
- A doctor or hospital is not required to share information with you, even in an emergency
- A bank is not required to discuss your child’s account with you, even if you opened it
- A college is not required to release grades, billing details, or disciplinary records to you, even if you are writing the tuition check
- If your child becomes incapacitated and has no documents in place, you may have to go to court to be appointed as their guardian or conservator
That last one surprises people the most. A court process, during a medical crisis, to get the authority you assumed you already had.
The two documents
An advance directive for health care
This names you, or whoever your child chooses, as the person who can make medical decisions if they cannot make them for themselves. It also lets them state their own wishes about care.
Oregon has its own advance directive form, and it is straightforward. Your child fills it out, signs it in front of witnesses, and gives copies to the people who would need it.
Pair this with a HIPAA authorization, which is the piece that lets a provider actually talk to you and share records. The directive gives you authority. The HIPAA release gives you information. You want both.
A durable power of attorney for finances
This lets a named person handle financial matters if your child cannot. Paying rent, dealing with a bank, handling insurance, managing a lease.
It sounds like overkill for someone whose main asset is a used Corolla. It is not. The value is not the size of the account. It is the ability to act at all when something goes wrong.
While you are at it
Two more small items that take almost no time:
FERPA release. If your child is in college, this is what allows the school to speak with you about records and, at most schools, billing. Usually a form in the student portal.
Beneficiary designations. If your child has a first job with a retirement plan, or a small life insurance policy, someone is named on it. Have them check. Beneficiary designations control the money regardless of what any other document says, and a form filled out at 18 tends to sit untouched for decades.
How to bring it up
Estate planning for young adults goes better when it is framed as a handoff rather than a hovering parent move. You are not taking authority away from them. They are choosing who gets to help, and they can choose someone other than you.
A few things that help the conversation land:
- Do it alongside something else administrative, like setting up direct deposit or a first apartment lease
- Be clear that the documents only matter if they cannot speak for themselves
- Let them read what they are signing and ask questions
- Tell them they can change it later, because they can
Most 18 year olds are fine with this once they understand it is about a car accident, not about grades.
Where this fits in the bigger picture
Families usually come to me about their own plan, not their kids’. But estate planning for young adults belongs in the same conversation, because the gap is easy to close and expensive to ignore.
If you are already sitting down with an attorney to update your own documents, add your adult children to the agenda. Most attorneys will prepare a basic set for a young adult quickly and inexpensively. If you are not working with one yet, this is a reasonable reason to start.
Two documents. One afternoon. Then you can go back to reminding them about the oil change.
If you have a child who has recently turned 18, or one who is about to, I am happy to talk through how this fits with the rest of your family’s plan.
P.S. Need tailored guidance? Let’s chat.
